Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Final exams: what you should do / what you will do.

As final semester exams are getting closer i can feel the all nighters, red bull overdoses and teary calls to the parents coming on already.

the good people at college humour have put together a good rundown of study prep. enjoy!

The Truth About Finals

Just like the cafeteria food and the nine months of beer guzzling, finals have also caught up to you. Man is your flabby ass in trouble.

I’m sure you’ve got big plans to ace your final, thus making up for all the classes you missed because you “had strep throat” or your “brother fell down a mine shaft”.

Newsflash Zach Morris, the crazy scheme you’re hatching won’t work. Let me tell you how it’s going to go.

You Should: Look over old tests and quizzes.

You Will: Jerk off fourteen times while your roommate pulls an all night study session in the library.

You Should: Reread relevant chapters from your text book.

You Will: Spill a bowl of microwavable soup on your book, rendering it useless… but delicious

You Should: Make note cards.

You Will: Cut ninja stars out of the note cards and throw them at yourself in the mirror.

You Should: Find a study partner.

You Will: Ask to study with the least knowledgeable person in the class, but the most likely to mess around with you.

You Should: Wake your study partner up if she falls asleep.

You Will: Try to put your hand up her shirt.

You Should: Get a good night’s sleep.

You Will: Freak out that you haven’t studied enough and try to cram an intense study session in between 3:00 AM and 7:00 AM

You Should: Be focused and alert during your exam.

You Will: Draw doodles of your professor being eaten by sharks.

You Should: Keep your eyes on your own paper, college is about integrity.

You will: Cheat like you’re getting paid for it.

You should: Fail. God knows you didn’t do a single thing to pass.

You will: Get a B-. That’s higher education my friend.


Sassan Sanei said...

I've been out of school forever and I still have nightmares about having an exam tomorrow and oops, I forgot to go to a single class all semester, and I need this course to graduate, what am I going to do now?

It's a lot scarier than it sounds.

mark robert allen said...

ha ha ha, that's the nerdiest thing i ever heard!

i have nightmares that this study will never end... the scariest thing is that it won't! there's always something you have to be continually learning.

word verification: fqyabbuf

what's that about?!!!