Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I am better than your kids.

i got sent this a while ago, but it still makes me bloody laugh...

If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:


First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the $hittiest dog I've ever seen. F
You spelled America wrong @sshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor.F
Holy $hit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dip$hit.F
Terrible. F
This one wouldn't be too bad if the color was kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F
Ding Ding! Here comes the $hit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of $hit. F
That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACI$T? Nice try, Hitler. F
This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random $hit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pi$sed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F
This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your $hit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their $hit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-a$sed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? F

8 comments:

irv said...

Oh, my god you are a sick twisted insubordinate little fuck. you should be jailed.

(wiping stream of tears of hysteria from face...)

unfortunately, my son's work would most closely resemble the really, really bad house.........

F!!

markoos said...

bloody funny hey?

the etch a sketch said...

hahahahahah that was so bloody funny... you know as karma your kids are all going to be retarded now... hahaha so when they want to draw you a picture you will have to stick a crayon in their ear and watch them shake their little head around on a piece of butchers paper...

Anonymous said...

LMAO !! ohhh God that was great....(my side hurts)

meanie said...

This post just made my life. You are funny.

Anonymous said...

you are a dick.

Anonymous said...

This is from Maddox.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule

I'm sure whoever sent this to you gets horny from plagiarism.

mark scotch said...

there's a picture of a house up there somewhere? $hit, missed it. Sorry.