Friday, May 26, 2006

not in those shoes...

we've all been there. you get turned away from a club because of some part of your attire. and at the time it can seem ridiculous.

This has been doing the rounds at the moment. It’s from one of the local street press that get around here in brissy about the inconsistent door entry policies practiced by queensland’s premier club. Considering all the bitching that it’s causing, I thought I’d publish it in its entirety (sorry for the length).

From Scene Magazine


Please explain ‘doorbitch’…

















This week funked off has some steam to let off. He’s tired of driving from northern NSW only to be refused entry to some clubs due to their inconsistent ‘dress policies’.

I am writing to express my angst about a certain skank bitch who positions herself at the entrance to one of Brisbane’s most happening nightclubs, that manages to pull the best international and intestate DJs when it comes to house, breaks and hard dance.


I have been a regular punter to this venue now for three years, and I’m FED UP with having my night ruined, my ego shattered and my plans diverted all because this mole decides I’m not “”FUNKY ENOUGH” for her club.

What I wanna know is; are you really judging punters by their designer labels, or are you judging punters by their sex appeal or lack thereof or is it just another ‘crack pipe moment’ in which YOU decide what is considered funky.

What the hell do you want a fucking cardboard cut out of Mark Dynamix glued onto me or some wankfest DJ who’s image screams “fuck I’m so good-just ask me”?
Unlike most clubbers, I don’t go to this particular club because it’s a safe haven to get munted. I come for the diversity of genres and because my favourite hardstyle DJ’s regularly play there.


(By the way, I’ve recently spoken with a few of them about this issue and even they agree that this policy stinks).

One night whilst waiting in the queue, a group of brits were waiting – dressed to the nines. I overheard the ‘doorwhore’ ask them if they knew who was on the bill. They replied “no but we have cash to burn in your club”. She replied “sorry we want a different crowd tonight”. They were gutted, I felt for them. On another night, one of my best mates was denied entry even though he’d previously worn the same attire and got in. (you see, he was clued on to this ‘door bitch’s’ antics and had a reserve set of clothes in his car). So when he politely queried her on which part of his outfit was unsuitable, she replied “… honey it’s the whole package”.

WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS STOCK-YARD REJECT THINK SHE IS, PARIS HILTON’S TWIN OR SOMETHING?

I have worked for some of the country’s biggest dance party production companies and various nightclubs as a promoter and I’m VERY familiar with genre stereotypes.
So when I drive for two fucking hours, I expect to get into the venue, not get told by some gutter-slut that I’m not “funky” when I know damn well that I dress fine.


The last time I was denied entry I saw a handful of people gain entry, who looked like they shopped at the Salvos, while I was refused entry wearing designer jeans.

The manager needs to reassess this policy and ask himself is it really good for business?
And as for the doorwhore, you may think that you’re glamorous and beautiful but at the end of the day you still take a shit like the rest of us, don’t you forget it. Do yourself a favour “honey” – lay off the coke.

Regards, funked off.

leave a comment to let us know what you think: have you ever been rejected from entry? do you think the writer of this has a point or is he just being a little bitch?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

i was waiting in line to get in when some guy waslked out to make a phone call, after he'd finished he tried to walk back in, but the door girl wouldn't let him back in.

he was understandably furious becaus eall of his friends were in there.

simmo said...

theres a petition doing the rounds atm to try to git her fired.

Anonymous said...

I agree - that skanky-arsed bitch has to go! Can someone post the petition on this site - I would love to sign it!!

dig dug said...

wow. how many synonyms are there for door-bitch?! nice work. I take it its the family and I haven't stepped foot in the joint for a few years now for that reason! great club but i won't let them have the chance of ruiing my night!

markoos said...

you'll have to sign the petition on the email that's going around mate.

yeah i've seen her ruin a few nights. power is a (door) bitch.