Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Overheard in a court room

This is another oldie but still a goodie.


  • Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
  • Witness: "I only have one, you know."

  • Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
  • Witness: "By death."
  • Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

  • Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.


  • Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
  • Witness: "July 15th."
  • Lawyer: "What year?"
  • Witness: "Every year."

  • Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
  • Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
  • Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
  • Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
  • Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
  • Witness: "'Winchester'!"

  • Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
  • Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

  • Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
  • Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
  • Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
  • Witness: "Er...his face."

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