Eight Serious Guy No-Nos

1. Crying yourself to sleep
Exceptions: Your dad dies, your Ferrari gets repossessed, you have really bad menstrual cramps.

2. Fighting a buddy over a girl
Exceptions: The girl in question has you wrapped around her finger, she’s got a snappin’ gyro, or you can take him.

3. Shaving your privates
Exceptions: You’re doing a porno film or your fella likes it that way.

4. Renting Steel Magnolias
Exceptions: Sally Field is the only woman who can make you laugh and cry.

5. Arguing splitting a bill evenly
Exceptions: None. Cheap people should be ridiculed and ostracized.

6. Kicking a guy in the balls
Exceptions: You’re new in prison and fighting for your ass virginity.

7. Breaking the guy code of silence
Exceptions: Videotape evidence or 72 straight hours of listening to “Just tell the truth and it’ll be OK.”

8. Letting someone disparage a Bond film in your presence
Exceptions: They’ve saved the world from an evil, but brilliant, captain of industry on more than one occasion.