Thursday, April 05, 2007

new job

I started my new job. I’m working with fresh produce now which is a change from working at the strip club. It’s pretty hard work unloading pallets of produce by hand, but I feel like my soul is slowly repairing for the sins I witnessed in that unholy place.

Most of the blokes there are Greek and talk with thick accents. Actually, there’s only two guys there that aren’t Greek, and I’ve found myself picking up their slang by accident.

“ok, it took me a while, but I’ve finally unloaded every box of lettuce and re-stacked them here.”

“oh-keh Chris. Two tings right? First, I asked for de iceberg, dis is cos.”

“it’s Mark actually. And what the hell is a ‘cos’?”

“second, I already told you not eat dee stock, oh-kay? Mayte?

(chewing) “no, you told me not to eat the grapes. These are strawberries.”

“don’t be eating anything! oh-kay? Now sort the good onions from the bad ones in that sack.”

“you mean that sack there?”


“that sack with rancid onions in it?”

“yes, take out the good ones”

“that sack that smells like someone’s taken baby shit and smeared it on prawns that’ve been left in the sun and then rolled that in dog shit, and then covered it in burned hair, and…”


“….and like, four day old dead dog has been…”

“justa fageddaboudit and get to work, eh? Wassa madda wit choo?!!!”

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